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bi-polar?! what?!
Mood: hyper Weather: It was super dooper nice out today! Sound: some tv commercial [YAY*] Today has just been on of those roller coster days. At some points of the day I was mad and crying and at others I was happy and super hyper. It was wierd. I'm confused...Sometimes I think that I'm bi-polar and that's not good. Justin's Mom has been talking about going on this Dr. Phil diet. I guess it's garunteed to help you lose 3 lbs a week. Well, today Justin's Mom and cousin, Monica, were taking their measurements. And well, I'm going to try this diet and exercising with them so I had to take my measurements too. Needless to say, I was devastated when I started to measure my bust, waist, hips, thigh, arm and neck. For those of you who know me, you will know that when I feel uncomfortable or embarrassed I'll start laughing and kinda like making fun of myself. And that's just what I did today. >_< During taking my measurements I started joking and laughing real bad at myself. Monica and Justin's Mom were laughing too, but they weren't laughing at me...They were laughing with me. >_< Monica said something like, "Well, at least you can laugh about it." But inside I was crying. A little while later, I found myself to be taking my frustrations out on Justin. He wasn't doing anything to me, but I was griping and finding everything and anything to complain about. All Justin could say was, "What is your problem today!?" I BROKE DOWN. I was so utterly upset at myself for being fat that I was taking out my frustrations on my baybuh! I mean, what WAS I thinking?! I was super upset at myself. How could I treat him like that?! All he's ever done was love me! And if I love him as much as I say I do, then I guess I wouldn't do what I do... But it isn't as easy as it sounds. I know I have problems with my temper. I will admit to that one. And when I get upset I will swing and kick at Justin -- I don't know why I do it. I really don't. It's just a reflex that I have. ...Just a little while ago... I was so hyper about 45 minutes ago, but I have no idea where it went. I was playing around and being all crazy like with the kids. Justin and I were playing with the kids and have a great time...I was so odd! That's why I think that maybe I'm bi-polar... .:This is scary:. Anywhoo -- I've been working on emzi.tk. It's coming along. I'm using html on it still. I like to give myself a little bit of a challenge. Yeah, I'm a dork. Well, I think that this is all for now...I've got some business to attend to over there yonder. HEH B'bye: EMILY I love you all, so you all better love me! |
 <3--<3--<3--<3--<3--<3  Name: Emily <3--<3--<3--<3--<3--<3 Navigation: <3--<3--<3--<3--<3--<3 Other Journals: <3--<3--<3--<3--<3--<3 Local Links: |