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thoughts � emzi 2003-2006 layout � emzi

i'm not ok, but tomorrow IS v-day! <3<3
[� emzi @ approximately 10:30 pm]
13 February 2004





Mood: I'm not really sure.

Weather: okay

Sound: nothing at the moment.

[sigh*] Sometimes I just don't know what to do. I'd like to say that I'm ok with who I am, but I'm not.

Well, Justin's at work right now. He has to work 7p to 4a...So I've got to get out pretty early to pick him up from work. Oh well...I'll live!

I'm just glad that things are finally starting to look up a little bit for Justin and me. It almost seemed we were at a point where I wanted to just plain flat out give up. But surprisingly, things are on the uprise!

I'm debating on whether or not I'm going to go to bed. I mean, right now it's 10.35p and I've got to leave here at like 3.40a to go pick Justin up...And I probably won't got to bed until at least 12.30 or so...So I'm guessing it really isn't worth getting into that deep sleep just to be woke up by the alarm clock. But then again, I'm guessing it's not good to be driving out on the highway at almost 4a and not have had sleep since 11a the previous day...So, who knows. I do know that if I don't go to sleep I'll be more awake than if I lay down...We'll just have to see how I feel around midnight. But that's getting closer by the minute!

Justin has been upset because he was not able to get me anything for v-day because of our current $ issues. I told him not to worry about it, but I know he still does. I went with Justin's Mom and Monica to Wal-Mart tonight and got him just a little something. It'll be waiting for him when he gets home! ^_^ I would tell you what it is, but I'm not sure if he'll read this or not! [he's got access to the internet at work!] hehe

I got this super long e-mail from a friend today. I am not going to mention their name so I'll just call them 'friend'. I'm sure they'll know who they are.

Dear Friend,

When I read the e-mail that you sent to me today it brought tears to my eyes. I understand completely what you are going through because I, myself have been there. Although, I haven't really left that tough spot in my life behind yet.

You told me that you think that I am strong for keeping this journal and putting myself out there. Well, I could hardly call myself strong. You could not even begin to imagine all of the things I leave out of this.

I am not completely satisfied with who I am as you may know. I understand how you feel.

I am not happy all the time and most of the time I am very down on myself. I again understand how you feel.

Towards the end of the e-mail you wrote the following:

"[...]can we please be friends? i mean sharing friends talkin and listenin friends be there for each other friends? will u be there for me?[...]i have no clue what i could offer u but its just ...i think i really need u emily ... sometimes my heart just hurts and i dont know what to do or how to handle it ... i just feel stuck and all i can do is cry."

Friend, all I can tell you is that you are my friend. I will be there for you for whatever you may need. I will listen and I will share my thoughts. I am there!

I don't want you to think that for even 5 seconds that I don't care about you! Considering some circumstances it still never causes me to stop caring about you!

I hope that you find comfort in my words.

Love, Emily

With all of that said, I think I will venture away.

B'bye: EMILY

Forever Yours <3 & })i({'s
Emzi - xoxo


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Name: Emily
Nick-name: Emzi
DOB: 30 October 1983
Age: 22
Sign: Scorpio
Residency: Northern Indiana
Status: Forever taken <3
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Eye Color: Dark Blue
Height: 5' 5"

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