a bad, bad morning.
[� emzi @ approximately 11:28 am]
26 February 2004
Mood: upset
Weather: still cold...
Sound: nothing..I like the silence
Today has started off to be a horrible day. I have Justin to thank for that. I'm not gonna go into detail about it all, so I'll just post the letter that I left on his desktop.
Justin,
I don't understand why I'm trying right at this moment, but I am. I'm really glad that you talked to me about you changing your mind to go w/ Andrew at the last minute. It made me feel VERY important. When you said that you were too tired to go with him, I thought that maybe I'd be able to see you more than an hour today. The next time I see you, it'll have been almost 2 DAYS since I last spent any time w/ you. I know you have brought up the idea of going on a little picnic thing, but THAT DOESN'T CUT IT. It doesn't make up for the way you have made me feel. Like a LAST PRIORITY. I thought that MAYBE I meant more to you than sleep or maybe even a friend. Granted you don't go out with your friends very often, BUT we haven't seen much of each other in almost 2 days. And when I get home from work it'll be 11 and you'll probably just be getting back from guys group and you'll be too tired to give a care in the world about me. It's true, b/c you'll just want to go to sleep. And then...You have to work tomorrow night. So, you'll sleep all day friday and then get up just in time to get ready for work and then I will have to come pick you up at like 5 in the morning. Yeah, it makes me feel really special to know that I'm only needed when you have nothing better to do, or if you need to picked up from work[or taken]. I really feel like dirt right now. Why don't you just STAND ON MY FACE!? You might as well be already. And...you took the phone so I have no way of getting ahold of you. Thanks a lot. Why did you have to ruin my day? Why did you have to make it hard on me? Why did you have to hurt my feelings? Why do I feel this way? Nevermind...It doesn't matter anymore. I'm through...Maybe I should just stop caring at all. B/c you're going to do what you want to do anyway. It doesn't matter what I think or what my opinion is. Even though you asked me at the beginning, it never really mattered. You were never going to take it into consideration anyways. So in my mind...Maybe I'm just DEAD to you. I don't know. But I'm done now. I will talk to you tonight. Oh, wait...You'll be gone. You won't be here. Oops, my bad...WHY AM I SO STUPID?
Goodbye: EMILY
PS I love you, but I'm very disappointed in your actions.
Yeah, I don't have anything else to say. I'm finished.
B'bye: EMILY
Forever Yours <3 & })i({'s
Emzi - xoxo
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